Miscarriage and The Rules around Sharing

If you know me, you know that I struggle with miscarriage.  

Twins in September of 2011.

One the Christmas Eve of 2010.

Two before that.

And again... again.  July 21st, 2012 another sweet Brian and Katie baby decided that heaven was way cooler.  They were right.  But oh, how I wish I could have kissed their sweet toes.

I didn't tell anyone at first (except mom of course).

Then, I only told a few people.  

Then, it felt like I missed some unwritten window to be honest with everyone around me.

So, here it is, my honesty in front of you.

It hurts and I am sad.  

But this time, there is hope that came more quickly.  Maybe it is because I have been here before.  Maybe it is because school has begun and the world swirls around me so quickly.  

Maybe it is because beautiful friendships have sprung up around me and supported me during this time without even fully knowing what was going on inside me.

I am Still Here.

Apparently, I look like I am expecting - (that is always fun, right?).  My poor, sweet neighbor asked me when I was due.  Blerg.  

So, if you see me - nope, I'm not.

If you know me - I don't feel like talking about it.  I'm ok - really.  

If you struggle with it - I would love to help.  Ask me anything.  Write me anything.  I'll be here for you.

Hugs and Love,

Momma of eight (how do you answer that question?  I'd love to know),

Kate

 

Comments

[Wendy]

Oh Kate, I am so sorry. Wish I would have known on Thursday so I could have given you an even bigger hug.

[Jennie W]

Oh Kate, I missed this somehow (reading backwards now) and I am so profoundly sorry for your loss and the previous losses. I had no idea. I will share my story with you someday in person, maybe over coffee with a box of kleenex. Much love to you and many prayers going up that you may have another baby that will remain here on earth with you. Jennie

[Jenna]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I also didn't talk about mine in 2006 for various reasons until later, until after. I wish I would have. Keep talking.

[Jess]

Sweet, darling Katie. I love you to the moon and back and to the moon again. Lots of love and hugs and prayers in this time. XOXO

[MixedMolly]

I had my first miscarriage in December and it has been hard to talk about it. Yesterday, we said goodbye to our two year old, who was reunified with his family after two years with us. I have three children in my home, but I have five children in my heart. Thanks for sharing. I know how hard it is!

[V Demetros]

Oh dear, I'm so sorry and so proud of you for being honest and sharing this with everyone. When I see you, I know you don't want to talk about it, but I will be holding a hug for you. So happy that you have so much support around you.

[Loraine]

Sweet Katie, thank you for that REAL, sincere post. It brings tears to my eyes and helps my healing. I too have lost two angels recently after having two children back to back now age 5 & 6. It makes no sense, yet God knows why and when or if. I feel the same as you blogged, but have never expressed it like that--thank you! You are in my prayers for acceptance and healing. From your long lost Texas friend displaced in the desert of NM. Hugs to you!

[Carrie]

I'm so sorry Katie. :-( Praying for you guys.

[tinuviel]

Oh, dear girl, my heart goes out to you! I love you, Tatie, and I'm here for you. May you know the Lord's strong embrace for strength and comfort. Wish I could hug you too.

[tracey]

Prayers for you Kate.

[SavingSense]

I am so so sorry, Kate. Sending you a huge hug - and prayers for comfort.

[Sara at Saving For Someday]

Big hugs to you, Kate. I'm so sorry to read about your miscarriage and I'm sad for you but also filled with peace knowing you're OK. My sister miscarried many times after her 2nd child. 10 years after she had her 2nd she had her 3rd, then 4 years (and 2 miscarriages) after that she came to visit me after my daughter was born. She went home and thought she caught a flu bug on the plane but went on to have her 4th child.

We don't know what HIS plan is, but it's a wonderful and terrific plan. I'm so sorry for your heartbreak, again.

I don't know what to say other than you are loved and blessed more than you can imagine.

With kindness and friendship,
Sara

[Steph]

That was beautiful.
Thankyou.
I just stumble over here. I'm very new to all this blogging world. But I love how you can read someone's words and feel a little of their heart beat on life's journey.
Again thanks
Steph

[hannah singer]

darling kate. i love you so. jeremiah 31:3 xoxo